The speculation . . .

of the birth of a baby in a manger 2012 years ago is non-stop.  Who were the wisemen?  How many came?  Was there really a star?  What exactly did King Herod do proceeding the birth?  How could a virgin bare a child?  Though it may be insightful from a scientific point of view, I realize that none of it matters.  
Long ago, a baby was born to a mortal virgin mother and the eternal Father of all of our Spirits.  He is the literal offspring of God, a deity with infinite power and love.  His life was exemplary, His miracles were marvelous, and His love was out of this world.  Most importantly, He gave His mortal life for us and today, He lives!  Celestial and glorious with our Father on high.  Walking with each of us through our trials, and changing us into people - ordinary people now prepared (or preparing) to meet our Maker and become like Him.

Nothing or no one will ever be as important.  He is the ultimate gift. 

Merry Christmas


Unrequited . . .

Seems to be a cycle in  my  life. ahhhh life... isn't it such a beautiful, messy culmination of everything?
but mostly this strange phenomenon called love


Remember that girl. . .

you saw, who unlocked her car, got in on the passenger side. Who paused for 10 seconds before realizing the steering wheel wasn't missing, it was just on the other side of the car, where it has rightfully belonged since she learned about an automobile at 5 years old?

So maybe I stayed in the passenger side until all the people who saw me get in, dispersed in different directions before I timidly opened the door to ninja my way back to sanity and the right seat.

That was a first. Hopefully a last.


take a stab . . .

at it.





those are the first 4 words that I found. i can't decide whether it is literally because what you see first portrays who you really are or the fact that each of these words were horizontally placed and my eyes happened to scan those specific areas. seems rather fishy if you ask me.

though i must say, finding restless first is pretttty spot on . . .

says the girl who recently began: 

cello lessons, applying to teach private group music classes, gathering data to begin motivational speaking, heavily considering a degree in ASL, painting (with little to show), receiving structural integration, working out with a personal trainer, food addiction recovery, scouring the internet for the nearest african dance class.



New song, anyone? . . .

The girls of Beauty Redefined (Lexie and Lindsay Kite) have inspired me. So so much. 

I wrote this song and donated it as an anthem of sorts for them to use as they please.

Go to the website to hear the song and donate over $5.00 to purchase a copy of the mp3.  ALL sales go to Beauty Redefined.  This was not a cheap project, but I can't stand by the side and watch 2 girls fight a battle that needs an army.  Our world needs people who use their talents for purposes like this.  They have lit a flame in so many girls and women, changing their perspective on the world.

We are all beautiful women with infinite potential. Believe it. Trust it.  Feel it.  Then do something about it.

THESE women are changing the world. SERIOUSLY.  Help them in their ongoing fight to "Take back beauty".

ahhhh I love them.......

one small step you could do to help them?? post about them on your blogs.  Get the ball rolling.  I watched their facebook fanbase climb from 300 to over 3,000 in nearly 6 months. That is incredible, but more can be done.  HELP.  WE NEED AN ARMY.

Lyrics to "Beauty Redefined"

Take back what we let fade away
Voice of tomorrow, not product of yesterday
And once you feel it, you will never be the same

All that we can do is strut, now make it loud
Toss passion to the proud whose views are simply misaligned
Ask the brave: “Step forward help to straighten
all that’s been misshapen, torn and barely left alive”

We need beauty redefined

You’re captivating, don’t be captive to the lies
That just erasing is a picturesque disguise
I dare you look up and try to mold the skies

All that we can do is strut, now make it loud
Toss passion to the proud whose views are simply misaligned
Ask the brave: “step forward help to straighten
All that’s been misshapen, torn and barely left alive”

We need beauty redefined

Make up your mind and not your face
We all know it is a happier chase
And in the end you’ll finish out the race

All that we can do is strut, now make it loud
Toss passion to the proud whose views are simply misaligned
Ask the brave: “Step forward help to straighten
All that’s been misshapen, torn and barely left alive”
All that we can do is strut, now make it loud
Toss passion to the proud whose views are simply misaligned
Ask the brave: “Step forward help to straighten
All that’s been misshapen, torn and barely left alive”

We need beauty redefined

Thank you!!  Love love


Seasons change and . . .

So do I.

I've thought a lot lately of how I've changed. Who I am. Who I am becoming.

I'm certainly not as funny as I used to be.
My sarcasm has faded and I don't enjoy laughing at the expense of others.

My social life has dwindled significantly.
I choose to spend my time learning, serving, building solid relationships and cultivating

It's rare to find myself performing on a stage these days.
The adrenaline of fame really gets to me. Satan knows it. I write and record to inspire.

The common theme I have pulled from the above changes can be summed in a few words.

I love my Savior.
He is my priority.

The closer I draw to my loving Father in Heaven, the more compassion and love I have for the people in my life. I don't care what decisions you make, have made, or will make. I would give anything for people to feel the way I feel. I need no compliments, nods of approval, or other forms of recognition. The greatest compliment of all: for you to do all you can to live for Him.

My vocabulary is limited to express my truest feelings.

But this sense of knowing will set you free. So fight for it.


There are two . . .

actions I love to invoke more than any others in this world:




Both of which remind me that I am, indeed, alive; intended for a purpose much grander than mere mortality.


frankly . . .

 a whole lot doesn't matter.

When your heart sinks down to the bottom of your soul knowing that a friend just lost a fiance (about 2 weeks away from wedded bliss) to a tragic accident, everything seems to blur into categories of . . .

Things that matter


Things that don't

the latter overflows with silliness. 

and my entire self just aches and aches with sympathy.


When in doubt . . .

always over-pack.

You never know when your yoga mat, blank canvas, and GUITAR might come in handy.



Watched . . .

The most beautiful sunset a few days ago. 

All I could hear was Emilia Delmar saying 

"God is soooo romantic"
That was new for me, never before had I pictured God as romantic.

Yet in that moment, I knew EXACTLY what she was referring to.


this simple wednesday evening. . .

I feel peaceful.

I've never felt entitled to materialistic things. money. clothes. cars. etc . . . 
but little did I know, I have had a sense of entitlement in other areas of life.

I want to claim to the world that I am not entitled to:
(more importantly) friends' time 
beauty (inward and out)
"the perfect job"

In fact, there are 3 things TOTAL that I've concluded that I AM entitled to:

1. agency
2. salvation through resurrection
3. the light of Christ (regardless of how small that flame may be at times)

"Atlas Shrugged" - top 5 favorite books of all time taught me that I was born with a body and a mind. The rest is up to me.  Of course, we've all known that.  But now, I actually feel it in my bones. I live and breathe it.

Don't let anybody lead you to think that you deserve the world handed to you on a silver platter. Face reality. Create your own life. and for pete's sake work hard.

Due to the fact that our free country is in major distress, I want to remind others that collective entitlement is one of the first steps towards economic crisis. Whatever you do, shun it.


Hiatus . . .

from any form of blogging lately.  Not sure why! Perhaps a loss of interest? or "somesing"??

Cousin and I are working on a lovely project. Can't wait until it begins.

It involves Love, Bodies, and Potentials.
It also begins the checking off of a lifetime goal I have: Becoming a motivational speaker.

Dun dunnuh nuuuuuh (it's embarrassing how much time I spent coming up with a semi-comprehensible way of typing this victory sound.)

Let's use our beautiful and unique talents to mold the future of our world.

Hear, Hear!!




sunshine, beach, yada yada . . .
i'm all about summer's filled with dance.

Most of the time, I just can't believe the dancers on this show. But for real?? who caught that professional ballroom number last results show?


I have never seen anything like this. the wind has been knocked out of me. my world has turned upside down. just.  bahhh
HUMANS are so capable of achieving greatness. case in point.

oh and uhhhh, a little nappytabs never hurt anybody, right?

Plus a little more for good measure.

love love love love love love love


2 weddings and a festival . . .

I am currently preparing my schedule to teach about 25 students.  Yikes.  What am I getting myself into?

I have the opportunity to perform  at 2 beautiful weddings this weekend (totaling 5 hours of sing time) + I get paid . . . this is what it's all about peeps.

I was also invited to perform at a festival this August (1 hour set) in Torrey, Utah for the heftiest chunk of change I've received at any given time plus 2 nights accommodation.  My jaw dropped to the floor . . . literally, my mouth is the biggest thing you've ever seen . . . again, this is what it's all about.

Except it's not.  That is definitely NOT what it is all about.  Nothing makes me happier than the random people who add me on facebook and are quoting my lyrics in their status updates, or the friends who send me links to random blogs who post about my music, or the numerous comments I receive via text, email, and fb messages by people who have been influenced by what I create.
THIS is what it's all about. 
It is my dream to make music to inspire, and somehow, it has happened.  
  it just baffles me.   that I have achieved my dream.

And because of all this . . . not the money, I begin making plans for recording my next CD, which I believe has the potential of being even MORE inspiring and MORE beautiful. 

the most humble of thank yous, I send your way . . .  


My Belle pen. . .

Says "there's a princess in every girl"


I saw Santa claus driving a red convertible.

Life. is. So. magical.


took a jaunt . . .

down to my camarillo home again this last week.  i love that place.  paradise.

it is so unbelievable lucky that i've spent 2 of the past 8 weeks there. whaaaaat??

i made new goals, filled my lungs with fresh air, and realized that life is a short crazy ride on which i'd like to be flying through in the front seat, with my eyes wide open, hands held high, and a grin from ear to ear.

life is so incredibly precious.  time is of the essence.  and love is out there, to be had.

SIGH . . .

we spent time riding crazy roller coasters at magic mountain, eating perfect crepes at the farmers market, engulfed in long chats about life, love, their potential ability to exist in harmony, and playing on God's greatest creation of a beach, Leo Carillo. hurray for travels!


i have that sort of . . .

gets caught in a hug's armpit
flings in your face if you sit behind me
pull off a stray, only to realize it's not a stray at all
cast it over the tower and climb up it
'eeerybody knows whose head that hair came from

hair right now.

which is rad because tangled is currently the bees knees (for good reasons. best disney movie since the classics) I am a hero to little girls who can envision my hair growing passed 60 ft. someday. mmm the imagination of a child.

and for the first time, it's THIS long and it isn't driving me bonkers.  probably because of the "Claire cuts" that i get (best hairstylist ever).

and i'm not in a fit of competitive rage right now either! simply just enjoying it!

fun. fun fun fun. having long hair is a lot of fun.
*oh hey! its real life rapunzel!*


Jamie Oliver . . .

and his "Food Revolution"

I love this guy. so so much. for leaving his beautiful country to come help ours be a better place.
He's a hero of mine.

So you know I rarely watch television, but I LOVE watching "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" on hulu.  He is a health rockstar advocating nutritious school lunches.  Essentially, he wants to change America's eating habits by educating kids and teens.  I highly suggest you click the link and watch the first 2 episodes of this season.  You will be shocked at the lack of safety and health provided for our children in schools.  Also, go HERE and sign his petition.  Lets make Utah a "red" state, if you will, and support Jamie's endless efforts.

So far, only 673,833 people have signed this petition (Utah providing a measly 5,700) and I say only because let's be honest, he should be getting a lot more support.

Hooray for good people doing good things and helping us retain our freedom!

For pete's sake, last season, he was in a classroom and the children couldn't identify what a tomato was!!! 


flutters and greetings . . .

i think i've been having heart palpitations for about a week now? what is up with that?
my mom thinks it is  anxiety. she could possibly be correct, seeing as i was nervous i wouldn't make it back to utah, fueling my car on the spare change i had.  
but i made it back just in time to be caught in the hailstorm (don't get me started), so i don't know why i am still experiencing weird heart symptoms. 

a postman waved at me a couple of days ago while i was driving down the street.  i thought i was the only happy idiot who found it socially acceptable to smile and acknowledge other people's presence, but it feels good to know i am not alone.  yes, yes, i am one of THOSE people who will say "good (insert time of day here)" to you if I pass you while running.  and if we are in the sugar house loop, i will say it every time i pass you, while you get more and more annoyed. 

i just enjoy acknowledgment of existence.  if i see you, i'm not going to PRETEND i don't.  it is so rude when people do that, especially when i smile and wave, they keep on going as if i were literally not visible.  oh well, i will forgive those cretins.


Mormon. . .

it's a word attached to a bajillion different stigmas.  

one popular stigma being "tricked into believing"

I would like to claim my status as a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as Mormon) first and foremost.  I was baptized and confirmed at the age of 8.  No one made me do it, it was what I knew and loved, so I made the decision myself.  That being said, I would like to share a few of my 
own, personal 
experiences as a member of this joyous gospel.   

I was raised in a home full of love, with both parents deeply committed to the LDS church.  Obviously, my childhood and teenage years were flooded with LDS principles and values.  I enjoyed church growing up.  It was fun and I felt warmth, light, a feeling that couldn't come through any other means, which I later recognized as the Spirit.  You know when you get chills that run deep through your bones?  Help you to decipher truth from deception?? That would be the Spirit.  I specifically remember moments when the Spirit spoke truth to my soul and I was in hysterics from feeling so happy. 

I was a teacher's aide my Junior year of high school and the entire class, including the teacher, was out working on a project.  I was sitting in her room all alone grading papers with my headphones in, and a song shuffled its way to the top of my playlist.  I can't remember the song, but I know it was an LDS song.  I stopped dead in my tracks as something took over me, consumed my whole personage, it was joy that couldn't be contained in a mortal body.  My smile has never stretched so wide, my eyes literally poured warmth onto my cheeks, and I knew.  I knew I could never go back, that Heavenly Father had contained my heart and I would let nothing deter that security.

Jump ahead 2 years to my 18 year old self and I am sitting in the peace of the Temple, pondering Christ, wondering how this difficult life will be a challenge I can continue to conquer and find beauty in.  Just as before, the Spirit rushed through me as a confirmation to what I already knew.  But it reached deeper and went further than I'd ever felt it before, what I would consider a taste of exaltation . . . the tiniest little taste.  My love for the Temple and the ability to feel the Spirit 10 fold inside of it grew stronger.

Another 2 years down the road, I'm dancing on that sweet, sweet piece of land I consider my mountain in California.  After 5 years of Madeline's death, when I was listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir belt out "I Believe In Christ", I felt her presence.   It hit me like a ton of bricks, took me completely by surprise.  She was with me crying and sending out joy into the eternities that we Believe In Christ.   The veil became so thin that I felt as though I was dancing with multitudes of Angels by the end of the song.  

Same year, as my 20 year old self.  The fondest of memories . . . when it sank deep in my heart what Christ did for me.  Joy wasn't the feeling, it was bitter sadness, I fell to the ground when my knowledge grew just a small amount to understanding the suffering that Christ went through, atoning for my sins.  I couldn't breathe, knowing that he was strained and tested beyond any mortal physical, emotional, or spiritual capacity.  And ever since, it has become my "solitary vision" to do my part in achieving Celestial Glory, to live up to that potential that was built inside my intelligence from the very beginning, so my Savior's sacrifice for me is not in vain.  So I can rise again as He did, be Resurrected and live with Him.

Easter is dear to me.  I feel the most contemplative during this Holiday.  I can't imagine a better way to spend this specific Easter break, than on God's beautiful beaches, all alone, reading about Christ, and pondering ways to grow closer to Him.

I love my Savior.  I haven't been tricked into believing anything untrue, only encouraged to find the happiness that my earthly parents have found.  Through my own experiences and trials I have come to  know that God lives, Christ lives, and I will live again.  Nothing will ever bring me as much joy. 

See you in 10 days!!!


despite . . .

my ever looming doubts and purely negative attitude towards the world,  its' weather, and my location
the sun is out to play today.  in all it's 38 degrees of goodness.
Yesterday, i found one bad habit that i formed in california. ONE.  i'm a sun addict.  how do I fix this?  I find me some more sun and whine until I get it!  

not sure how i never knew this song graced the planet, but rest assured, my husband will sing this to me on my wedding day.


Best . . .

it's an incredibly subjective word.

Why do we feel the need to be the best? the winners? out score and out soar everyone else?
thankfully, God doesn't believe in a winner, the "one" who stands out above the crowd.

Being a chaser of unattainable bests leads to a life of unrest.
Here's to sweeping "bests" not only under the rug, but out the door and starting anew.

though i think we can all agree on this best.


Sometimes . . .

I get so busy making sure everyone sees how beautiful they truly are, that I forget others are yelling it to me.

Disclaimer: this song does not swear, contrary to the title. Also, i have a feeling that most people will find the cutting in this video taboo, when in reality . . . it's as damaging as eating disorders or stealing. I read through comments of people who expressed their gratitude for helping them know there is hope.  Atta girl, P!nk

I am coming to learn more and more by the grace of God, that our actions don't add or subtract to our "worth" as His perfect creations.
love yourself.
and if you feel so inclined, fall to your knees in gratitude to the perfect Creator for your body, mind, and spirit, for the Light of Christ that helps us to breathe.

p.s. when p!nk is pleading or pounding her chest, don't you feel like you can relate?? like you've tried so hard to either realize that yourself or help others see the light. i love how real it is. she wants people to believe it. so beautiful.


i'll take this opportunity . . .

to cry.

so i went to an incredible group therapy session last night.  I began to complain about my pounding headache and the medicine man gave me a pillow to scream into ("a miracle" he said, "what screaming can do for a headache").  All eyes were on the three of us women inflicted with throbbing heads and after an uncomfortable laugh, I decided to oblige and join the other two.  Like the flip of a switch, after what seemed like an eternity of blood curdling scream, my emotions transferred and i shook like a baby in sobs. 

I felt so sad. so much sorrow. i was shocked by my grief.

I heard a communal pout for my sadness as if a puppy had died (maybe because i was the baby of the group), collected my emotions and even cough/choked on my water immediately after.

"that was textbook how your fierce scream turned into a sad bawl.  I know you think the cough had to do with the water, but there's more to it than that." the medicine man left me with so much to think about, so much mystery.

and this morning, i awoke . . . as if the world were new. 

thank you medicine man and thank YOU Christ, for the Atonement.  That all encompassing, all powerful miracle.

scream, i dare you.


i still say hands down. . .

this is one of the best if not BEST dance videos on youtube. don't even argue

I've searched elisa dances for hours. this takes the cake

When we

". . . lack confidence in our own abilities as God’s children, or God’s abilities as our Master, full potentials are left in the stars, completely unreachable."  

             -Jules Morrow

weird that i'm quoting myself, right? but i came across that obvious piece of revelation in my journal and had the urge to share.


i - i - i - i - i - i came to . . .


I'm one of those wedding party attenders who believes that the reception was not invented for congratulations, or fancy, delicious food.  it was made for dancing.  and boy do i love me some good dance parties.
 *i make a jolly good dancer, no?*

mission: find new "mountain" like spot now in full swing, heaven help me before i bust out in the midst of the park crowd while jogging to Taio Cruz.


a long time . . .


lots of thoughts, so today i'm going to need to pick and choose.  Novels are for special occasions

Being on T.V. is an art that may possibly take me an eternity to learn after watching the night show rerun.  Luckily, the morning show lady was jealous enough, that I'll be on again in a couple of weeks. practice makes perfect, right?

I love my new song.  It's like my baby right now.  My pride and joy.

My biggest client (aka, who I make the most off of cd sales) bought her 22nd CD yesterday.  And I'm not even related to her.  How RAD is that?  She gets the golden star for promoting my cds via gifts to everyone.

A couple of nights ago, i couldn't sleep.  I threw on my hoodie at 2:30 a.m. and danced in my driveway while little flurries fell down.  therapeutic to say the least.  i miss my mountain in california, I was so spoiled!!  Yesterday, I shot hoops in my driveway.  that's the most exercise i've had in a while. . .

I had an epiphany:  releasing my CD triggered emotions that led me to a point where I was competing in EVERY aspect of my life, right down to whether or not I was the girl with the longest hair in the room.  what the??? who does that??  Helped me to realize, after a long sob session, that I am NOT willing to do what it takes to get to the top in the music industry.  Happiness does not come through feeling greater than other people by comparison, but through bettering ourselves individually.

I love teaching piano. Love love love LOVE lobe love it.  I could do it forever.

I listened to a girl discuss her adventures in Tahiti and New Zealand yesterday.  Travel bug hit me hard.  someone please, just get me outta here.

and last but not least, after my "competitive" awakening.  I cut about an inch off of my polygamy hair (myself), and it felt great!


The music. . .

happenings of my life in a quick blurb.
february 16th
tv spot on Park City t.v. where I get to play a ditty and promote full band show. watch. listen. mmmbuddy.
february 18th
full band show. velour. provo. ut. be there, be square yada yada, it's going to be a ball. other amazing female leads present.
coming soon to an internet connection near you
my own website. bless you trey, bless you.
all the fans 
you're the glue holding my vulnerable musician's frame together. this isn't possible without you and your support, feedback, money hehe, etc.

 just in case you want to come support me in a big moment aka, the full band show!

** kgotlotstodoloveyoubye ** 


a few . . .

random and late night thoughts/flashbacks.

Spoke with "fish" today on the phone.  What a breath of fresh air, I think it was our first tolerable phone conversation.  Enjoyable even!  Probably because the pressure was gone.   If the others had been recorded, they would go down in awkward history, and I'm not quite sure why.  Just take my word for it.  That's a new idea, a website with awkward conversations. We'll call it . . . MCAA "my convos are awkward" copyright 2011

When I performed at Terra Mia this week, I told the boisterous audience that if they enjoyed my music to find me on facebook, iTunes, etc.  Then proceeded to open my arms out into a pre-hug position and stated "come, follow me".  Needless to say, a blushed face and sacrilegious apology were my true followers after such a weird and painful mistake.

Also, while performing at Terra Mia, I covered Regina Spektor's "Folding Chair" and for the first time, attempted to recreate her epic dolphin sounds.  An immediate regret washed over me the second I opened my mouth to make the first squeak, but since it was much too late to take it back, I confidently owned it.  I think those were the loudest cheers and chuckles I've heard in my music performing career.
NTRS, (note to rockstar self) the more confident and goofy you are, the higher the profits.

*too many acronyms? so sorry. . .

I THOUGHT I invented a new word (kermudgen) when i couldn't remember the name of the game kanasta, but alas, much to my creative dismay, the dictionary has given us "Curmudgeon"  -
a bad-tempered, difficult, cantankerous person.  Now if you can tell me what cantankerous means without looking it up, i will send you eflowers . . . or something. 
mmm yep that's all.
one more thing, though to end on a spiritual note.
I was sitting in the temple and I read Helaman 5:12 
It hit me.
My foundation needs to be built upon Christ, it doesn't matter if I live in Utah, California, or Algeria (tunisia, lybia, egypt, sudan, and chad, and niger, mali, mauritania . . . getting carried away) 
The place isn't the issue.  My faith and testimony are the answer. 

 k loves, goodnight


My album . . .

Has FINALLY made it into the cyber world for purchase


you name it.

just search for Jules Morrow. . . quite exhilarating!

or just go comment and rate, PLEASE, I need all the help I can get!
 also, tell all of your friends!

Much love!


i miss it . . .

much more than i would like.

i'm freezing here. FREEZING.

i'm surrounded by people who aren't very interested in adding yet another friend into their manic lives.

i'm sick of the parties where you spend all night speaking to people you will never see again. and i have myself to blame because i keep finding myself attending.

i'm finished running indoors.

*this time last year, I was outside watching the parade of lights as boats on the harbor sailed by, that's my kind of winter activity!*

I would give just about anything to be back in SoCal
with the beach
with the ocean
with the sun
with my mountain where i can dance with no inhibition
with good friends who were there in an instant.  Really good people.
with outdoor runs next to strawberry fields

i need a serious pick me up so i can quit whining.  i also need jane and laura to move home from byu and usu, they have been my sanctuaries!

i know it's been awhile since i've blogged about anything so lets end on a positive note :)

I got to talk to cindersoot on christmas.  she is workin away in Germany and i miss her more than anything in the world.  she is an angel!