May this . . .

peak your interest.

Please, check out HIS blog. yes. a HE. 

HE is about to start going on 16 blind dates in a 2 month period in the hopes of maybe possibly finding the one to wed and reporting them to us (his audience) after wards.

I think it will be hilarious, entertaining, and quite heart-warming to follow his crazy awesome story.

great right??

that profile picture is stunning.


Dadsie. . .

Dad: "Hey Jules, look what I found (above picture).  It's been 20 years since we've seen anything as cute as Nora Bean." (referring to my niece/his grand daughter)

That. Cute. Thing. He's referring to??

That's. me. 


Sure knows how to make his daughter grow up to be a daddy's-girl!

This man could literally talk my ear off and I would still come back to hear more.  Everything out of his mouth is another means of teaching me the importance of life and the Gospel.

He is my hero and my expectation of a real man. Love you Dadsie.


calling all . . .


Why is it that more analogies come to me when I am running than any other time in my life??

I dun---no, but I ran for an hour and a half today (probably the worst decision seeing as the longest I've been running as of late is 30 minutes tops.  safe to say I am going to be feeling it tomorrow.)


I was granted a few sweet analogies on this long and outdrawn run.

1. the sun.  hypothetically . . . when you have not spent any time outside in the sun for 3 years then you decide to go outside one summer day for hours. UR gunna burn. bad. most likely with water blisters.  WHY??  I don't believe it is because the sun is evil and we should avoid it at all costs or because we didn't lather up with gallons of sunscreen.  I believe it is because we have not accepted the sun in small increments through time which gives us the ability to be in the sun for longer and longer periods of time.  THE SUN doesn't ever change, but our ability to be in it's presence does.


if we haven't been actively engaged in the Gospel for the past 10 years, 2 years, or 8 months and then decide to jump in full force and believe we will never turn back, we are GUNNA BURN. BAD.  The Gospel is never changing.  "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. . ." If we step into the bright and perfect sun too soon, we will burn.  "By small and simple things shall great things be brought to pass."  "I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little."
ALSO pertaining to the sun:
I have heard numerous times that when the judgment day will come, we will be in the place where not only God would have us (through his law), but where we desire to be.   I only understood that so far as a child, thinking "Self, why in the world would you want to be anywhere other than God's presence in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom."  BUT, I now understand that I have to build up in perfection through hard work, obedience, and Grace.  Otherwise, the second I try to step into the presence of the sun, I will burn, meaning that I will want to be in that place where I can actually survive.

sorry. i know. a mouthful.

2. I was walking backwards for about 15 minutes after I finished my run and the thought came to me. "2 steps forward, 1 step back." but what happens when we keep stepping back??  I have no idea when I will get to that street light where I will have to cross. I was facing forward, my view was towards that which I was walking away from, and if i would have kept going, I put myself in danger of reaching the crossing light and ultimately being hit by a car.  How frightening it is to even take one small step backwards. With every step we really have no idea how much closer we are to the adversary because, we can't see.  Our spiritual line of vision is held to one way.  God placed us here in the direction of looking towards him and his plan.  When we step backwards, we don't realize how close we are getting to the fire.

too much for my head to hold, just had to blab it out.

Then spent 3 hours talking with Tara about life while sitting on the pool side.

Great Saturday, no??

Love loves love love me . . .


success for me . . .

right now is the following 2 things

1. I spoke with Cindi (my love, soul sister, most wise and understanding best friend) and she informed me that when I left her a voice-mail on the night previous (which we can all conclude wasn't the best night of my life), she listened to it and hung up the phone informing her best friend Mandy that something must be seriously wrong with me because for the first time, she heard me crying and there was not an ounce of laughter.

{side note, laughter is my biggest defense mechanism when I am feeling vulnerable, it especially takes place when tears begin to form.}

I did it! I expressed freely to her. That means I trust her with my entire being.  I feel like I did something insanely beautiful by opening up and completely expressing my sorrow with out trying to cover it up.

2. The only time I cried yesterday was at night when I was speaking with Cindi about the above experience.

The Atonement is saving me from dragging on in sadness and loneliness.  I opened up, I cried, I expressed freely, then I repented.  Why?? Because honestly, I have bigger fish to fry and can't waste time feeling pathetic when there is a perspective so much grander than mine fighting for me to have hope, happiness, and faith.

It's beautiful, the broad range of things that The Atonement covers.  Because today, I'm extremely happy.  It's even safe to say that today is the best day of my life.

Isn't life lovely with God's help??


lonely . . .

tired, and u-t-t-e-r-l-y homesick.

never thought i would ever feel homesick here while living in Paradise.

Christie would be proud.
I am humbled.

at least i have a firm grasp on the balloons that will captivate my attention again soon enough

"when I push you away and say you simply cannot stay here, it's all love my stupid love."
"you can't be the one to kill the pain anymore."
-ingrid michaelson

oh and p.s. i love you all, it's been a while huh?


G . . .

reen And Gray.

"I want you to love me, [s]he whispers, unable to speak.

And [s]he wonders aloud why feelings so STRONG make the body so weak.
Then [s]he awoke, now [s]he's scared to death somebody heard.

If it was you, and you know [him], please don't say a word."


is it really . . .

a lot more simple than I ever realized?

can i really just stop thinking, stop feeling, and be?
lay the questions and interjections aside and just do?


pleeeease p   r   i   d   e . . . be gone.


recall . . .

those moments when you have nothing to say? you'd rather just keep it inside??  have you ever felt that???

well that is how I feel.

These thoughts are mine, and for now, I would like to keep it that way.

But don't fret, i'm happy as a lark and see more and more beauty every day!


after watching . . .

"Lady and the Tramp" a few weeks ago, I keep thinking about my favorite part in the movie: When Lady refers to her masters as "Jim, Dear" and "Darling" because that is what they call each other.

How adorable.

Darling. .

What will my puppy (or perhaps less hairy, less slobbery fish) think mine and my husband's names are??

Superstar and handsome??

Beautiful and charming??

Muffin and Bees-knees??

yeah okay . . . seemed cute but now I wanna vomit.

but i think i like superstar, maybe a little . . .  and bees-knees.  I can deal with those.

ha ha ha bees-knees. he will like that.