Here's to wishing . . .

You all a happy new year!! Boring and short this post is but I have to go get my ghetto dance on at a party tonight. I've been crazy busy and crazy happy here in California. Many stories to tell and many songs to write. . . May the journey continue.

Love you all!!


I'm fully aware . . .

That Christmas ended only 90 minutes ago, but I have too many pictures to load before I recap.

This post is dedicated to my motivated insides who are dying for "new years resolutions"

Doesn't 2010 seem feminine?? I feel like she will make the world go round in odd ways for 365 days.

Dearest 2009,
you were rough on me but you were also the most joyous year thus far. I accomplished about 85% of your goals which is a feat for me and my track record, so for that I must thank you! Let's just pray that your sister, 2010, will treat me like gold and maybe even bring me a love. . . far fetched I know but it's worth a shot. Cousin is making me excited again to be in love.
Much love, Jules

Greetings 2010,
I am thrilled to meet you and can't wait to know you better. Let's just get the list over with shall we??
- Save up enough $$ to move into my own apartment near L.A.
- Half marathon (now that I can run year round, yipee!!)
- Attempt to persuade Ellen into letting me on "the" show, for any reason possible!!
- Perfect and perform with my loop pedal
- Be an extra in a show AND make sure I can be seen
- Write letters to all current missionary friends
- Open for a reputable band/artist
- Finish full CD
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely, Jules

the less the better. Man, I'm stoked about my goals, I usually loathe them because they are so ridiculous and frustrating but I've come to learn that those are the ones that leave me feeling crappy and mad because I don't attain them. let's just keep it simple this year folks.

Sleeeeeepy time. . . .


You know . . .

Those moments where all you want to do is dance to blaring music (preferably gansta style) but you are sitting in bed attempting to sleep because you need to work in the morning?


If I were as cool as I strive to be, I would get my butt out of bed and do it.

Wow I just motivated myself unintentionally . . . praise the blog Ala

***************** 30 minutes later ************************
I REALLY did not want to take the effort to perform above activity before I began blogging tonight. Let's just say:

That was thee most successful blog post to date. I have a lot to ramble about but I'm thinking this has turned into a "more is less" situation. Go do something completely awesome right now. it'll make you feel cool i pinky swear.

Good night


All I have to say is . . .



as a matter of fact, it was too bizarre to elaborate via blog until I see him face to face. BRB.


Can't Sit Still . . .

time for some word vomit.

10 goals for me to accomplish while in the first 6 months (not including december) of California:
*please SOMEBODY hold me accountable

1. Visit the beach at least 3 x a week. DOABLE and super enjoyable. easy.
2. Perform on the streets 2 x a month. calling all dolla bills. cash money. ice. u name it, i'll take it.
3. Perfect the "jumping on the beach" picture. ahhh yea.
4. Raise money to buy a beach cruiser. sooooo awesome.
5. Make a friend. . . don't judge me.
6. Play beach volleyball at least ONCE.
7. Find 10 celebs whether intentionally or by random. lets hope i find me a howler.
8. Finish self made CD.
9. Get in contact with 10 important people in the industry that have the potential of "making me happen."
10. Cry whenever the freeeeak i want to because this ain't gonna be easy folks. and imma girl so imma gonna cry.

Since today's the day, I'll end by saying. . . .

let's hope we don't have a breakdown here. kiss kiss


Just A Leetle Leest. . .

of reasons California has been treating me like a goddess.

*Inspired by my Cindi din dindy. . . just a little preview for you!

1- I am now the person that my insides have been dying to be. (more on that confusing statement later)
2- Every sunset that I have seen is at LEAST this pink. . . RIGHT??
3- I paid an insane woman street violinist yesterday AND she had way sweet dreads (karma shall be my friend)
4- While at the beach the other day, I saw a way freaking sweet family playing soccer and I'm not sure what language they were speaking but they looked like swedes. completely normal.
5- I walked to the grocery store with my reusable bag the other day to pick up a few things. It made me feel so green and legit.
6- My sand sculpted butterfly was destroyed by the incoming huge wave which took me by surprise. Luckily all my electronics in my pocket survived because I pulled out my uber fast reflexes and assumed the "crab walk" position. then I laughed for a good 20 seconds because everyone probably thought I looked like i belong in an asylum.
7- I have FINALLY started playing my guitar again.
8- Television is no longer a distraction. More an annoyance.
9- It's freakin 72 DEGREES!
10- California is feeding my absurdly independent self which loves being alone, free, and non- dependent in financial matters. Why does it feel so good to pay for everything???
11- I work 4 days a week from 11:00 AM to 6:00 PM. Can't get much more beach bum than that!
12- I am 45 minutes away from Six Flags and about 90 minutes away from Disneyland, just THINKING about it makes me giddy.

All in all, the move is everything and more than I hoped. I still miss my main peeps but i still have them in my life.

D comes home tomorrow and it's crazy sauce. I can't wait to talk to him via telephone. I can't wait to SEE him over my Christmas vacation. Lucky bih that ends up with him. . . I'll kill 'er if she doesn't fully appreciate. Sigh. . . . I have a feeling this will be the story of my life. *see picture below

*inspired by S-money, Sarie farie, my little big cous. I'm sorry I sucked up that heart.


I'm in for . . .

The time of my life.*Just a little tribute to Sarie Fairy who graciously drove the whole way to California with me the day her finals ended. A real trooper, I know! She is stunning in these candid photos and probably has no idea that I even took them. She loves the ocean as much if not more than I do so her attention was fully occupied.*

I woke up in my new room this morning with the sun's rays beaming through my adorable windows. I got up and walked around the neighborhood, mesmerized by the awesome homes and adorable people.

I feel like I'm in a dream. This isn't really how life is supposed to feel. I am guessing that the WOW factor will wear off in a good few weeks, but it will still amaze me that I live right by the ocean and that it doesn't snow here. I can't seem to wrap my head around that!

The Manders family is hilarious. they are incredible. the rooms are decorated with different themes. they have the most envious collectibles, and Mark (Dad Manders) creates the most beautiful pieces of artwork ever (from paintings of dancers to a marble sculpture of a fetus). It's unreal. i just don't believe that this was coincedental. God is miraculous in making odd things happen.

So now I am here sitting on my bed, my guitar sprawled out next to me looking exhausted from my hours of playing and I know that this decision was the best one.

People have plans for hooking me up with the industry. So soon?? I can taste my "2 weeks notice" for the dental office already. hahahaha that's horrible. in all reality I am hoping to be there at least 6 months. I am actually going to LOVE it. what a freaking opportunity.

Oh and no worries. Beautiful Boy in new singles ward started talking to me and after about 15 minutes he admitted that he is going to be 19 in a little over 6 months. C.R.A.P. Gotta love it! For the record, it wouldn't be an issue except for I know he'll be going on a mission. Ain't gonna happen. Maybe SINGLE is calling my name here in California as well. hahahaha

Peace and love!


All Good Things. . .

must (for some odd reason) come to a freaking end.

*the view from my new job in downtown Ventura!*

*the beauty of Santa Monica*

Just sitting on my bed which is currently stripped of it's lovely flannel clothing; facing bare walls, Christmas presents (yes my mother has already turned my room into santa's workshop), and shelves who I would swear are complaining that they are now lonely.

I've made the rounds of friends and family to make sure I get in enough of their beautiful faces to haunt my dreams for years to come and I've also eaten Cafe Rio about 10 times, you'd think I have this irrational fear that it will become extinct in the next 2 weeks before I'm back home eating it with the Ange Mong from Wisconsin.

But I am leaving. weird. and I won't be back. double weird. I won't be able to drive home because I need a fix of my mom's addictive cooking. I won't be able to call one of my 3 Beauties to come be with me on a whim. I won't see you when your plane lands, I will have to resort to a dreaded phone call which has never given humanity any credit for being wonderful.

I will be warm. different. I will have major responsibility. I will be in love with the place, people, and culture you have to offer.

So although this incredible life has to come to an end, I will be able to start fresh while the sun beats down daily. It's doable I guess . . .


Facing . . .

A fear that has been holding you back your whole life is A. BIG. DEAL.

Me: I did it. I did it this past week. I faced THAT fear. I plunged.

Best feeling in my life. It truly set me free and gave me AN INSANE AMOUNT of beauty.

I thank YOU, YOU, YOU, and YOU for helping me overcome this fear. (you know who you are)

I thank YOU specifically for letting me talk your ear off and for helping me conclude that the fear was worth facing. YOU know my heart and YOU fought to help me.

I thank YOU specifically for being there. for allowing me to be fidgety and crazy. for dealing with my emotional mode those couple of days.

I thank YOU specifically for giving me strength that no human can attain by herself.

I thank YOU for patiently being the object of fear. For sticking it out for over 45 minutes of my childishness and for graciously giving me future "pointers". YOU were a safe test. YOU knew how crucial this was to help me grow. And YOU probably loved every second of it.

Opened my heart last week and guess what?? It was phenomenal.


In Lieu of reading the 2 previous psycho posts. . .

I've been walking around all day thinking.
I think I have a problem: I think I think too much.
I've been taught to hold back my tears and avoid them
but you make pain into something I could touch.

I've been walking around all day laughing
think I'd be better off with out you here
and I bet you're sweet and hard to get over
so I cry and people stop and stare
that's okay let them stop and stare.

Cause I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
but I'm free.

I've been walking around all day waiting
and waiting is all I seem to do
cause I never get it unless I'm fed
but this time I'll just have to

And I am fragile
I am hopeless
I'm not perfect
but I'm free.

Say you're not around when I'm finished.
If you're not around that's too bad.
Hope you're safe and sound not alone now
cause you know I believe in you.

I'm still fragile
I'm still hopeless
I'm not perfect
but I'm free.

Maria Mena says it best. . . .
Thank you for your patience in my insanity


"They're hoping times will never change. . . .

But how often do things stay the same?"

Am i the only one on the planet that is THIS babyish about moving?? Don't get me wrong, I'm in it for sure and I really can't wait to get out of Utah and into Cali, but I just wish I could move all of the people with me. I am really really bad at goodbyes so I usually like to avoid them altogether, but I can't! Who knows when I will see these people again? These people that i have put so much emotion and heart into knowing and loving, I just up and leave them.

I love meeting new people and that will be one of the most exciting adventures consuming this life change. I instantly love people when I meet them and can't wait to feel that over and over again. But i feel like i don't have time for everyone. I want to give a bigger part of myself to ALL of my friends but the more I move around and change, the more friends I gain which means the worse friend i become. I just pray that I can keep my friendships intact. I love these people in Utah. I love them with all of my heart.