i'll take this opportunity . . .

to cry.

so i went to an incredible group therapy session last night.  I began to complain about my pounding headache and the medicine man gave me a pillow to scream into ("a miracle" he said, "what screaming can do for a headache").  All eyes were on the three of us women inflicted with throbbing heads and after an uncomfortable laugh, I decided to oblige and join the other two.  Like the flip of a switch, after what seemed like an eternity of blood curdling scream, my emotions transferred and i shook like a baby in sobs. 

I felt so sad. so much sorrow. i was shocked by my grief.

I heard a communal pout for my sadness as if a puppy had died (maybe because i was the baby of the group), collected my emotions and even cough/choked on my water immediately after.

"that was textbook how your fierce scream turned into a sad bawl.  I know you think the cough had to do with the water, but there's more to it than that." the medicine man left me with so much to think about, so much mystery.

and this morning, i awoke . . . as if the world were new. 

thank you medicine man and thank YOU Christ, for the Atonement.  That all encompassing, all powerful miracle.

scream, i dare you.