A little birdie . . .

marked my first comment as "spam" on the Youtube video I posted about a week ago. How kind, whoever did so, yet I wish they would not have! I love comments. good or bad! Therefore. . . the comment is now un-spammed and out in the open for the whole world to see. It feels good to have someone genuinely NOT agree with something I do musically. It will happen an infinite amount of times while I work my way into this insane industry.

"The My Happy planet" thinks I'm cliche and mundane? WOW! who knew? My face went bright red when I read those words to myself. I was embarrassed. UTERLY embarrassed! Then I remembered that I appreciate honesty in all forms, especially with something in this setting. I am putting my life into music, so I better know what people think about it!! Since my video has been watched 115 times in the last 7 days, SOMETHING tells me I have the ability to capture an audience through my music, but I know that some people WILL hate it! and I have to deal with that!

Besides. . . he/she thinks I have a pretty voice . . . the last 3 words of the comment were kind, and THAT will be the driving force to keep the music alive today.

I love you all and wish you the BEST in your dream endeavors!!

P.S. Thank you for your support in my own dream, now you know how much it is appreciated!!

You'll notice . . .

The previous post seems somewhat unfinished and all over the place. That's because it IS.
It was getting way too long and jibber jabbery that I decided to start over and the next 10 words would be sufficient enough, but for those who are dangerously curious, you've been warned!


STOP. LOOK. LIFE? WHY? BODY? NO. SPIRIT? YES = HAPPY LIVING.

It is almost unreal . . .

How much strength I receive from God when I am simply (actually with quite difficulty) following the "sunday school answers".

I've been told for the past 20 years of my life to do 3 things:

- Go to church
- Pray morning and night
- STUDY your Scriptures daily

How do I know this works? Because if I miss one measly little day, my whole world can turn upside down. And NO, this is not some mind power that I've tricked myself into thinking if I pray and read every night, I magically stumble across more strength. It is literally showered over me from God. Whether you choose to believe it or not, I am firmly telling you that it is 100%, without a doubt, completely true. I strongly urge you to believe it today. Give it a try, what can it hurt? IT WILL WORK.

With all the love I can muster up,

I think. . .

I have finally found the perfect album title and made the perfect album art . . .


. . . . I think . . .

I'm late, I'm late . . .

For a very important date. I am so excited to see Tim Burton's take on Alice in Wonderland with the Tim Burton usual cast (Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Christopher Lee, Alan Rickman).

Anyways, that is not what this post is about.

2 days ago celebrates the day of a very important birth. The birth of my blood cousin, my little Sarie Farie, S-money. She is 21 and I wasn't there to participate in the beauty of watching her grow up before mine eyes. . .

21 reasons I am happy this little woman was born:

1. She is literally in the top 3 coolest people in the world. Yeah . . . she's kind of a big deal.
2. She has the best laugh ever. It is even in the very first song I recorded.
3. She is SO freaking literate, it's admirable.
4. She has never once voiced dislike of who she is, so very confident.
5. She used to dance strictly with her two pointers when we were wee children.
6. Her taste in music is FABULOUS.
7. She is a beach bum hippie with a great tan and oodles of Rasta gear.
8. Her hair is crazy curly and gorgeous.

9. She and Trey (the man) are fun to hang out with together . . . and THEY'RE A COUPLE.

*This picture taken with no permission, too bad . . .*

10. She is insurmountably willful and able to accomplish anything.
11. She has never had ANY of the annoying girl qualities.
12. She texts me every time something hilarious goes down between her and Trey on a daily basis, just so I can live vicariously while being states away from her.
13. She's honest to boot.
14. Sometimes she gets really quiet and "thinky", and I LOVE it.
15. She's motivational, always able to help someone realize "they can do it!"
16. She is fun to make fun of people with. . . hahahahaha
17. She began blogging again. read HERE.


18. She is the greatest person to watch dance, SO much joy emits from her soul.
19. She is extremely forgiving.
20. She always reminds me that I am beautiful and capable of so much.
21. She has given me another best friend to laugh with for the rest of forever!

I love you!! Happy Birthday. SO wished I could have been there. Loves.

What a let down . . .

Blogger videos are! So I went the real route, Youtube. Hopefully it will play for you all now!! If not, click HERE to view it on youtube's website. Much LOVE!

Just a little something . . .

For those of you who wish to keep up on my latest songs.
(Cheers to all who caught my unplanned {inside} joke at the very end.)

"Dear Stranger, there's something you should see so let me show
And if you let me, you will find more love than you'd ever know.

Dear Cupid, aim your arrow, shoot hard then throw, the biggest celebration
Kick back and watch this new love grow.

Tie us up with ribbons yellow, gold and
Make a vow we'll last beyond the old cause
Just for now it just won't do,
I feel the need to spend my endless life with you.

Dear Stranger, to feel your kiss would put my dreams to shame,
Then we'd go on forever: a perfect love in the book of fame,
A perfect love in the book of fame, a perfect love.

Tie us up with ribbons yellow, gold and
Make a vow we'll last beyond the old cause
Just for now it just won't do,
I feel the need to spend my endless life with you.

Tie us up with ribbons yellow, gold and
Make a vow we'll last beyond the old cause
Just for now it just won't do,
I feel the need to spend my endless life with you.

Dear Stranger, there's something you should see so let me show."

-Music and Lyrics by Jules Morrow

This is . . .

The story of a girl:


She moved to cali, it changed her whole world


And while it poured all day, she began to play


and after, went hot-tubbing


And then she smiled (bum bum ba bum)

*Short poem meant to be sung to the tune of "Story of A Girl" or "Absolutely" by Ninedays (First song on Playlist)

A loss for . . .

Words.

I don't know what to call the feeling that I had last night.

I believe in extreme spirituality to put ourselves outside of the crazy world. Here's how the magic went down.

I was in my bed watching "30 Rock" when I realized that I wasn't living up to my full potential. I turned my computer off, got ready for bed and prayed to God that he would help me understand what was going on with my emotional being so I could nurture it. I turned off the lights, and laid on my perfectly made bed, I stuck my big old headphones over my ears and blasted Elisa's "A Little Over Zero" while I closed my eyes and laid perfectly still.

" What shall I do just to feel a little over zero? A little over
Now that I'm sadness, now that I'm weakness
Gonna to walk like it's forever, gonna walk because it will save me
And my fragility could kill me.

Is this the best I can be?
Is this the best I can give?
Cause I wanna break out and just live my life
I wanna wake up and find out I'm alive.

A saint for each bone would be magical
It would feel so all consuming that I would burn up just like paper
And my serenity it will kill me so.

Is this the best I can be?
Is this the best I can give?
Cause I wanna break out and just live my life
I wanna wake up and find out I'm alive.
Yes I wanna break out and just live my life
I wanna wake up and find out that I'm alive alive alive alive.

Is this the best I can be?
Is this the best I can give?
Oh is this the best I can give to you?
Is this the best I can give to you? "

The first time the chorus rang, my fist pounded down like a hammer on the perfect beat (unplanned, unexpected). I opened my eyes and big, alligator tears ran down into my pillow and my smile got so large that it seemed laughter had to follow, but it didn't. Angels surrounded me at that moment. A constant stream of chills swam through my body as I realized how much help is with me. Those Angels danced with my soul even though my physical being was p a r a l y z e d.

I have a huge task before me. I can't tell exactly what it is but those angels made it clear that I have an army of people helping me and an even larger enemy army trying to bring me down. Sometimes being in tune with angels and demons is super freaky because it feels as though I'm in some horrid nightmare. . . but I have never felt so strong before.

Once the song ended, I attempted to move in order to put my iPod away. My body has NEVER felt more heavy. I don't think my soul and body have ever come that close to separation.

Epic.

* I believe things happen to us when we want them to. I believe in Ghosts but I don't want them in my life so I do NOT invite them in any manner. Angels and the knowledge of demons on the other hand, help me get through this insane life. Hopefully this post didn't make you all think I need an escort to the asylum. Take it as you will.

I got a golden . . .

Ticket!!!

NOT the American Idol kind or the pretty little one found in a wonka bar, but a laminated, complete with photo "Performance Permit"

I guess golden tickets have a pattern of making dreams come true. I am now an official street performer and I begin this weekend! Much work to do!

"All I want is to rock your soul"
-Elisa

*Side note: that is the first picture I EVER painted with oil and canvas a few months ago. I painted a beach and now I live near one. The power of mind management! Or complete coincidence, you decide.

An imperfect . . .

Couple of days, it has been. I wonder if it is ever possible in this lifetime to fully recover from years of hating the way I look. I stand in front of the mirror finding all of the ways I could be more beautiful, then I realize what I'm doing, stomp my foot in anger, and feel bad about feeling bad about myself. There is something wrong with that.

A few things I need to get off of my chest about this issue:
1. I am still struggling immensely with BEN (my B.inge E.ating N.emesis, inspired by Meg to name the little devil)
2. I have come a LONG way from where I was a year ago and I know how to keep myself above the water, even if sometimes it is by a thread.
3. I've been spending way too much time facebooking and blog reading which feeds (no pun intended) BEN and makes him stronger.
4. I need more of God's presence in my life.
5. Playing and composing music seems to be the only time my mind is actually off of food, looks, dieting.
6. I'm SO over being secretive about BEN.
7. I have all of the tools and knowledge to control BEN after therapy with Christy (bless her angelic soul).
8. I have a career to create, and he is just getting in my way right now. annoying!

BUT on a more positive note. I LIKE the way my body looks when I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror. It's just holding onto it throughout the entire day and night that seems to be a constant challenge. I get out on the streets and see "beautiful" women everywhere I look. strike 1. Then I see beautiful women in television or movies. strike 2. Then I walk into a dressing room to try on adorable clothes. strike 3 and I'm out. I guess for now I can embrace the fact that I have issues and that I'm a fallible human being who gets caught up in it all from time to time.

At least I can go to sleep every night and think, "despite all of it, I really LOVE me."

Here's to wishing that you ALL love yourselves as much as I love you. And if you are feeling brave, tell yourself how beautiful you are today.

Lucky am I . . .

because I got to hold little crack baby Darius for 4 and a half straight hours while he slept and ate.

Darius is a lucky kid whose gay father took him at 2 days old into foster care. Bill is an exceptional human being and I even called him a molly Mormon today because of all his coupon clippings.

Darius is beautiful and gave me the gift of feeling motherhood tonight. All 8 pounds resting in my arms with no strength of his own to survive. It feels good. It feels right. And at that moment I was extremely grateful for the Gospel, for our Savior, and for our Heavenly Parents who in unison, help me remember what life is all about.

On a side note, I got asked out on my first legit date in California via text. mhmmm, stories to follow after tomorrow night.

Peace, love, and little babies . . .

Arghh . . .

Damn you John Mayer!!! Why you gotta be so fine??

Am I a photographer . . .

or a REALLY good photo editor?? or is it just that God decided to paint so wonderfully?? THAT, we will never know. But want in on a little secret? California skies are awful purdy!

Okay so this may be a little color and editing trick but it's dang sweet huh?

Gorgeous. . .

I know what you are thinking . . . when I caught this moment I may have shed a tear of joy.

Yep, yep, I think that God is just spilling his goodness out of that hole.

Needless to say, my coworkers got a case of "crazy jules" today as I was gawking over the scenery and taking mad pictures like a fanny pack-wearing tourist, but I am now a proud resident of the beautiful California! It's freakin JANUARY!

Oh and BTW . . .

Everyone needs to stop wigging out over new year's resolutions. We should celebrate that there is a day that {most} everyone in the country reflects on their life and makes new goals. Everyone has been dogging on new year's goals lately: if you don't make any, that's fine! but don't blame the holiday for never reaching your goals! blame your lazy self!! And I'm out . . .


With loveeee

Insanity . . .

This life is.

My new art of learning self discipline is BUENO. I love it, I am really starting to be able to separate my emotions from my will in order to take care of my emotions but obey my will. yikes. word jumble. moving on:

I just laid out $400 bucks for a busker's amp and $37 bucks for a "street performers" permit. Which means that I. AM. LEGIT. AND. POOR {but} POOR=MOTIVATED to make $

If all goes as plans and my permit is finished by Friday, then I will be heading down (for the 4th time this week) to Santa Monica to ACTUALLY play. The excitement is almost too much! Wish me luck! I'm hoping to drag my new friend LeClerc down with me, because in his words: "they [the million creepos found wandering Santa Monica] won't mess with you cause I'm black and they'll be frightened" I love this kid.

This here 2010 . . .

I have decided to look at life in a different angle. I am very passion-driven. It makes for a roller coaster of a life but is also extremely enjoyable. Passion usually gets you very little when you are trying for success. I have taken a good look at myself these past few days and realized how much change needs to take place. I believe I'm a pretty wonderful person with a lot of courage, a lot of love, and a lot of knowledge. I have very little self-discipline though. I let my emotions drive a lot of my actions and that is when I run into trouble. I NEED to learn the art of self-discipline for the following list of reasons:

- I'm a flake
- I procrastinate like none other
- I eat so much my body hurts
- I waste time
- I get no sleep
- I work for a dentist when I could be singing
- I'm easily convinced to "hang out" even when I don't want to and have so much to do
- I make promises and don't follow through
- At the end of the day, I start worrying about the way my life is going if I don't change.

I believe in baby steps. WHY?? Because I've taken huge, giant leaps before and I always end up right back where I started or even worse. Although I believe it will take a lot of time to make these necessary changes to be who God needs me to be, I know I can do it. I've been living off of passion the past year, it's time to begin taking control again.

Check out this sweet quote from Steve Pavlina on passion vs. self-discipline

"Self-discipline allows you take action and therefore get results no matter what your emotional state. Where passion is erratic, self-discipline provides steadiness and stability. And because your emotions aren’t in the way, your decisions are more likely to succeed because they’ll be made from a state of disciplined intellect rather than from emotional peaks and valleys."

"Self-discipline is quieter though. Passion gets more attention these days becuase it makes more noise."

touche self-discipline, touche.