wait . . .

a minute.

Why don't i feel anything negative?
Why don't i want to scream and cry yet laugh as a defense?
Why am i listening to The Weepies and Mika instead of Damien Rice and Maria Mena?
Why do i search my soul through and through but find nothing short of peace and joy?

this is very odd to me. I have torn my half of the room out and into my car. yes, almost all of my belongings can fit into my honda accord. (not including bicycle, speaker, and guitar) they are special and will be taking the 2nd trip to Utah.

I think that moving and change has become so second nature that my faith in God's abilities is almost whole at this point.  it feels great.  i feel confident.  i'm leaving SoCal and heading into the snow but I sit here bobbing my head and eating a popsicle.  I think that I am truly finding my old self again. the girl who you couldn't get to stop laughing in 7th grade, who literally wore a ginormo smile on her face 24/7.

I think i've become more down to earth . . . less emotionally dramatic . . . more calm and collected . . . less rude and sarcastic.  it's the jules that was born on August 10th of 1989 as Julie Lucille Morrow.  I don't know what bug infected me for the past 3 years but I gained an attitude far from gratitude and I think i've pinpointed (yet again) another amazing thing California has done for me. 

It's helped me grow into being me again.

 *i'd say a jumping high-five is in order*

i will relish in peace and joy. it is sufficient. 


Andrea said...

YAYYY!!!!!!!!! So glad you are truly happy. If a tinge of regret enters as the snow sets in, just remember your winter days in wisconsin with us and you'll feel all warm and fuzzy again :)


Linds said...

Jues this makes me so genuinely happy. I can't even put words to the joy I feel for you. Can we PLEASE play when you're all moved in?

kara lynn said...

little is better than finding that self you loved and adored and had happy memories with--and it's natural, not pushed. i am so excited to hear about your experiences! you are such a dear!

kara lynn said...

ha um i just realized i ended my comment with dear. ha how silly. and i would love to be real life friends with you. and welcome you to utah with that!