it's 10 or . . .

11 pm.

I know it doesn't seem like a BIG difference, california time zone vs. utah time zone but in Utah, I SHOULD be asleep right now, in California, I would just be readying myself for bed.

i'm physically in utah, mentally in socal.

this vacation back home is just that. a vacation. and the most highlighting points have been seeing my beautiful cousin walk out of the temple after making a sacred covenant, playing all day with my nephew, and crying my way through cindi's soul and spirit filled farewell address.

I'm surrounded by beautiful people doing worthwhile things.
but it's a weird feeling. because this is a past life. i don't live here and hang out with these people anymore. i don't have much in common to talk to them about.

but as i have been sitting in pity, wondering why i can't enjoy life like i once used to in utah. . . i came to an exciting realization.  what am i going to do with my time? not just while I am visiting home but when i go back to my new home?? time is of the essence. while i am here i plan on seeing a little more cindi before she leaves me for a year and half, hang out with sara before she gets married, hanging out with my hilarious parents and family, and attending as many Temples as possible (6 is the goal) because lets face it, i need blessings.  What about all that extra little free time?? reading, painting, writing music. I don't HAVE to spend every second seeing people that i was friends with years ago.

I also came to realize that I need to spend more time in service.  I need to lose myself.  I'm becoming WAY. TOO. DANG. SELFISH.

that is all. what a word vomit post.

you are welcome nathan.

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