connecting. . .

dishevelled l--i-n--e--s as of late.  for the past two months I've felt as though someone socked me in the gut and my "yellow" (for those color code geeks) came flying out of my wide open mouth, scattered as particles of dust.

I opened my eyes really wide and realized that I would not be able to pick up all of the yellow pieces I once had but now have lost.  I've cried . . . and cried . . . and been an emotional wreck (picking on others, judgmental, and feeling nothing short of a major drama queen) but . . . I wasn't ready to let go of so much personality so quickly.  This week I have focused my efforts on how to breathe in new yellow air because yellow is the core of my being and with out it, my life is mundane.  I have finally accepted the fact that I can't pick back all the particles that I lost because I lost them for a good reason.

God is helping me figure out which pieces are okay to bring back and which pieces need to be replaced.  He is so patient with my fun motives and is so understanding of the dis-harmony that occurs when I don't fill that need. 

What have I experienced most this week through it all? prayer. patience. perseverance. party. (literally in that order)

I even watched an episode of "Wipeout" on hulu and I laughed the entire 43 minutes. people falling due to their own will = my cup of fun tea.  

And that is the conclusion of this post.  I post a bunch of emotional stuff but end up putting Wipeout's top 10.   We're getting there yellow- we're getting there!


Ayley said...

oh man jules...
have you ever watched japanese game shows?

find some mXe videos. they're ridiculous.

Esther Cahoon said...

Too funny! I couldn't quit laughing even though some of those wipe outs looked like serious injuries.