And yes. . .

I did just use "as such" twice in my last post. I'm an embarrassment

Ode To Sweatpants. . .

This was just one of my roommates, catching me in the act of recording music while dressed as such (yes that is a trapper hat).

Ever been to THIS website??? My life is average? It is freaking hilarious, and I'm pretty sure it has been making me laugh out loud in my cubicle all day.

Then this happened to me:

I told my Dad that I am going to wear my sweatpants to work for halloween. He gave a little chuckle and said "You are going to go as Julie", I nodded in agreement and said, "yes! the Julie after work". He laughed again and said "you mean. . . the julie at work. . . and the julie at school. . . and the julie that goes out. . . and the singing julie. . . the dancing julie. . . the julie that jogs. . . the julie on dates. . . " all while sticking in laughter and hilarious hand motions. Not to mention, my love, Cindi commented on a FB photo of me yesterday from a previous halloween where i dressed up as an OG (original gangster). I was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and she commented "Jules, that is a really nice outfit you have on. I don't think I have seen it before. What were you trying to be for Halloween? Yourself?" MLIA

Ode to sweatpants. . . i seriously am going to write a song and title it as such

Kreativ? yes? . . . wheeeeee

The gorgeous and harmonious (great at leaving inspirational comments) Jessie tagged me with the 'Kreativ Blogger' award

My Duty: list 7 unknown traits about myself, and pass the award along to 7 lucky bloggers.
FUN RIGHT?
Love the blogging world!

1. I see a therapist every 3 weeks which all began with an eating disorder. Doesn't it suck that we live in a society where we grow up hating ourselves? . . . she has changed my world.

2. My friends have no idea how covetous I am of what they have or who they are sometimes. I KNOW THE MOST INCREDIBLE PEOPLE, IT IS UNBELIEVABLE!

3. I get nervous every time I have a new music gig for fear of nobody showing up to support me. It's stupid, I have awesome people in my life who do everything and anything they can to support me.

4. I have a deep appreciation for driving alone. I rock out, I bawl, I create scenarios, and I begin "drive by relationships" by singing to other people while they stare me down or start singing along, it is wonderful.

5. One of the first thoughts that pops into my mind when a "potential" man walks into my life, is "Will my brother think this guy is cool enough to hang out with." My brother gets along with everyone, don't get me wrong. But for him to truly like someone enough to hang out with is pretty rare. Guess I'll be single for a while. . .

6. I play "Harry Potter" and "Orchestra Conductor" while I run because I always pull a mini branch off of a tree and go to town in my own little world. (trust me, it makes those 5 miles fly by!)

7. When I leave my house in the morning, 99% of the time I think I look good (as good as I can look) but I have an odd style of no make up, anti hair teasing, so when people tell me they think I look good and really mean it, (trust me I have a gift for determining sincerity) I am shocked. I mean, I think I look good but I don't think that other people should. . . it's hard to explain. . .

And the awards go to. . .

Elease
Jordan
Lilian
Team Boo
Jalene
Krista
Marierin

Much love!!

My Love's too big for you my Love . . .

If you need to listen to Ingrid's "Sort Of" to truly understand why i am relating my life to those lyrics right now, then that would be fine because It's quite a breathtaking song!

Did you want to delve into my secret mind? because now is the time! This song is making perfect sense to me. I do not have a love that I need to get away from, but I do have a heart that I feel the need to run away from. I have a love that I wish I could run away from mentally and emotionally because I don't have him physically.

It's weird. . . this broken hearted feeling. I feel WAY too young to have a broken heart. I feel too strong to have a broken heart. I feel too loved to have a broken heart. But I feel it, and it's sort of this disgustingly beautiful transformation of soul. To know that I allowed myself to open my heart expecting it to be broken the second I do. I don't think I've done that. . . EVER. I have allowed myself to have feelings for people but I cover them up and bury them the second I feel doubt. I did that at first with this current love. I covered it, I buried it, I kicked it, I threw it away, but it kept finding it's way to the surface, creeping up slowly until I found myself in tears just to take it out, dig a new hole, and pray that it would stay underground this time.

It's okay that I am broken hearted. Those who know the situation may say I am being haste and that I am breaking my own heart, but I can't see the outcome going the way I want it to.
Call me one of little faith. . . because it is true! I have little faith when it comes to me and relationships, but I prepare myself for the worst when it comes to love.

"My Love's too big for you my Love. . ." My heart is large, loving, and extremely forgiving. It is passionate, intense, and overwhelming. My love is too big for you. I can't handle what you will dish back, but I have to. And it feels good. . . at least better then crushing it in my hands and letting it blow away.

Today is the day. . . .

That I make you a cupcake. and sing and dance with you. It is a good day! Thank you for making it that way. I love you beautiful!

InGrid. . .

wandered over to my hood and played me some sweet, sweet, melodies. Seriously though? This woman came out with her 7-man band and began playing "Soldier", the first song on her new album "Everybody" and my excitement mounted until I stood there: silently weeping. It was a PHENOMENAL show. Everything about her was perfect, down to her sweet headband that slicked back her matted hair. I wish you all could have been there with me. Singing along. Laughing at her hilarious jokes. and soaking in her deep soul. She sang a song about Mexican food and broke out into "Ice Ice Baby" followed by the "Fresh Prince" theme song. It was BY FAR one of the best concerts I have ever been to.

I stood there at moments and had goosebumps running up my arms and butterflies patting at my stomach just imagining how awesome it will be to play at "In the Venue" with people who have been changed through my very own music.

Ingrid has no idea what "Soldier" has done for me these past 2 months as I cried like a baby, and I can't wait to provide others with the same amount of peace and strength through the amazing power of music.

Much thanks my beautiful little idol. I hope to return the favor someday.

While driving home from Provo yesterday. . .

I pretended that Ellen Degeneres was in the passenger seat and we were doing a skit for SNL. I completely forgot about it until about. . . 3 seconds ago. I was acting, in my car, by myself, and I even laughed because it was a funny skit and I was improv-ing quite nicely.

I. HAVE. PROBLEMS.

But hey, on a less creepy note, I played a full set in Provo last night. It was a blast and I made money plus some new fans/friends! Can't get much better than that.

"Dream passionate dreams, design their reality."

-not an unknown author, but i can't remember the name

Not Only. . .

Would I give anything in the world to look like Zooey Deschenel right now, but she has my dream career. Who knew that I would be feeling those same things so quickly??

She's kind of. . . sort of. . . a hero/idol/goddess to me.

Well, ISN'T SHE??

want a music update??

Man alive, life has been good lately. I think I have played at least. . . 5 times this month already. I have 2 shows and 1 open mic coming later this week. When I played at the "Velour" open mic night last week, they got my contact info to set up my very own show there. Plus, I just had a restaurant contact me back who I sent my demos to and they want me to play a show next weekend. Out of all of these things, I have only set up 2 of them on my own. WHATTT??? how does this happen to me?

Flat out: I am blessed with an amazing ability that God granted me, and it is seeming to take me far in the right direction. At this rate I am hoping to be able to quit my job, pick up and move out of state, and find record deal offers within the next year. Far fetched?? maybe a little, I will give myself 2 years just to be safe, but by george, I am oober confident.

I have gone to a few shows lately (not played at, but just observed) where very few bodies were present to watch and support the musicians with outstanding talent, I mean, WOW HOW THE CRAP ARE YOU PLAYING FOR 15 PEOPLE?? kind of talent. What is the difference between those people and the ones that we hear on the radio who score big time? Confidence. People-skills. Performance. Drive. Aggressiveness.

Friends: this is why I am confident. I may not have any more talent than your average Utah singer/songwriter but man I am not afraid to talk to people, I am not afraid to tell people that I will make it someday soon, and I am not afraid to put myself out there because I believe I am one of the best. This is what will make me a successful musician. YES the talent is a definite plus (thank the One above) but it is so much more, it is a complete business and I am ready.

Thank you EVERYONE for all of your love and support. It is evident to me that I would be nothing if I didn't have incredible family and friends to back me up, and watch me play every week. Seriously though I would be NOTHING more than a girl behind a poem.

I would like to thank a few people in particular

-God, who gave me a talent and allows me to use it.

-"D" without whom, I would have never discovered my love and ability for music in the first place.

-Brett Curtis, this kid is willing to come to every show if he doesn't have a previous plan. He's also my wicked sweet manager.

-My logan lovers, they have travelled from Logan to Provo just to come watch me play multiple times now.

-Mis Parientes, they gave up an entire room in our house that is now dedicated to my instruments, sweet sound system, and inspiration filled mind.

-Cindi Din Dindy, I consider her to be my #1 fan. She's there every show and still watches me play as if she has just heard me for the first time.

-Plus all the randoms that find me via technology, just because they heard me play and want to know where they can hear my musica again. YOU GUYS ARE INCREDIBLE!!

Thank you all. I love you

Dreams are freeeeky

I love when I remember my dreams because it truly doesn't happen very often. Somehow, I had to remember this dream that was absolutely horrid.

I dreamt that a married guy I know (I will be super confidential) had feelings for me. I am attracted to said married guy, I will not lie about it. I was bummed when I found out that he was married, but to have a dream that he came up to me and told me that he had feelings for me just made me sick. I haven't gotten over it and it's been about a week and a half since the dream took place. I'm sick about it because my attraction for this guy has increased and my mind hasn't quite made it clear that he isn't an option.

Please don't judge me, it was just a dream, and they are just feelings. I just wanted to express my disgust.

To all those out there who have feelings for a married person, I understand you a little bit better than I previously did and now I feel very sorry for you. It's a bad feeling. yuckkkk.

Also, does anyone interpret dreams?? I'm curious to know what this one meant!

Sweet Dreaming. . . . .

Heppy Birfday

See HER? This is Cindi Mary Dietz. She's a little sarcastic, crazy, passion filled, spiritual, wonder woman. It was her birthday on Monday and I was so distracted by my Tuesday performance that I did nothing for her. I'm a horrid friend. I spent the day at work, then practiced music until I met her and her HILARIOUSLY WONDERFUL family at the Desert Star playhouse to see "Snooty and the Beast" It was awesome. I love this girl. She is something else. Seriously though, she is unexplainable. She is one of the funniest people I've ever met, she has these eyes that draw you in and make you want to know her because she looks like an angel, she can speak in any level of depth, and she knows more about life than most 80 year olds do. This is her 21 year old tribute!

21 reasons why I couldn't live without CINDI:

1. I am constantly jealous of her amazing life which makes me strive to be a better person.
2. I have NEVER lived without her. We were friends before we came to earth and we will be friends after we die.
3. She boosts my confidence more than she will ever know.
4. She appreciates everything around her. I mean EVERYTHING!
5. She has this "thinking" face that makes me silently wonder how her spirit can even exist in this world.

6. When she gets excited about something, she does this cool "opening of the hands, look up and smile" all in slow motion and it just instantly makes you happy.
7. She keeps me sane because she understands the way I think and feel when no one else in the world can!
8. She and I cry together, usually on a bi-monthly basis. . . (I know I know, disgusting)
9. She can make HILARIOUS faces (not like those super annoying girls who you tell to pull a face for a picture and they end up giving a kiss to the camera while you are left looking like some 12 year old psychopath). So we take really awesome pictures together.

10. She puts people in really awkward situations and it is in my list of top 5 funny things of the world.
11. She has a gift for living in someone else's shoes. She knows it and she owns it. It's amazing.
12. She bought a hooded jacket just for playing the guitar in.
13. She loves watching sunrises and does so frequently.
14. She doesn't seem effected by lack of sleep and if she does, she hides it well.
15. It just hit me but I don't think I have EVER been annoyed by her. That is rare!
16. She and I climbed a 125 ft. radio tower at the top of a mountain.
17. She and I dressed up in paper and plastic sacs to run around Salt Lake City at midnight and film a music video.18. When she dances, the whole world wants to get up and dance.
19. She treats everyone around her like they are golden.
20. She has thee greatest laugh you will EVER hear.
21. She is like the sun, you've been waiting all winter and she comes along to brighten your life.

Click HERE to delve into her imaginitive mind and hopefully if you are lucky enough to run across me when I am with her (usually half of my week) then you will get to experience the joy of this incredible woman.

Happy Birthday Cindi Din Dindy. I LOVE YOU!

A little big headed now. . .

I'm feeling a little too cool these days if that is even possible (if you know me, you know how cool I think I am already) but the adorable Lilian received an award for her blog and the rules of the award are to pass it on to 15 new blogs that you find noteworthy. Lilian found me via blog world and decided that I deserve to be on her top 15 list. WHAT??? why the crap do people want to read the weird things that I write? It makes no sense. Anyways, Lilian will be in my top 15, I know it may be breaking the rules to pass the award back, but I love her blog and she makes sweet scarfs to give away. Can't get much better than that. Hopefully if I have time. . . sometime this weekend I will be able to pass this beautiful little award on to the deserving new bloggers out there. But for right now, I have a couple of other things I would like to write about.

What a "lovely" title. . .

*Caught this beautiful little image outside my bedroom window. Lucky? oh yeah*

One of my new faves, Jordan, interviewed me for her "Thursday Lovely". This girl has been nothing but kind to me since I met her while at a house concert I played at. She stood out immediately, specifically cheering me on and getting excited when I would introduce the artists that I was covering. She found me months after the concert via FB (gotta love Facebook) and I have been mentally attached to her ever since (I say mentally because we haven't seen each other since, but I feel like we are kind of best friends, and seeing her again someday would make my heart soar). She is especially appreciative of the beautiful things that life has to offer. . . See the blog post HERE and read her entire (wonderful) blog HERE.

Also, THIS is her etsy shop. Isn't it adorable?? I want the leaf earrings, anyone want to buy me a present?? :)

Thanks Jordan, for making me feel like a "Lovely"