Euphoria . . .

and Diet Coke

I wrote this song and it sounds extremely chipper and chill.  But I'm going to take the opportunity and explain the message I am trying to get across through it.

"Euphoria and diet coke, never will they mix cause the latter kills the former when we drink from fear of losing bliss."

 *some people can't sleep in their houses because their loved ones are sooo addicted to STUFF*

I have been watching television this weekend (don't get your undies in a bundle, I've been sick with a nasty cold, I still HATE tv) and of course all I watched was Criminal Minds because I can't get enough of trying to solve why people act the way they do.  Anyways . . . commercials for the show "Hoarders" came on about 50 bajillion times and I thought, holy smokes, Satan will use anything he can to stir us up and get us to hand over our control, our agency to a THING, a MINDSET, a HOBBY.

Whether you are a:

Diet Coke addict
Chocolate addict
Obsessive Exerciser
Sex addict
Drug addict
Video Game addict
Food addict
BLOG addict
Chick Flick addict
Internet addict
Book addict
Money addict

. . .  you get the idea, the list will continue forever

All of these things keep us from feeling.  They keep us from having healthy, normal relationships.  It's odd though, because all of these things are used because we THINK they will just take away the emotion that causes us pain, but in reality, they just continue to numb our senses so we end up feeling nothing (including happiness).

I've never had to deal with Diet Coke as an addiction, I actually dislike soda, but it came to me quickly because I live in Mormon town where none of us drink alcohol, but I've seen so many people who are addicted to Diet Coke, they can't function and breathe without it.

a little over 2 months ago, I remember saying to myself "I need chocolate, I don't have any, I NEED IT. I have to go get some"  I stopped ranting, sat down and realized, I don't NEED chocolate, but I've become dependent on it (typical right?? a girl who loves chocolate).  So I decided it was time to break the habit.  I've been clean since that day, and plan on staying Dove and Hershey free until my Marathon in April (6 months).  Then I can SLOWLY bring chocolate back into my life in healthy amounts.  I know it sounds a little crazy, but I feel like some of my agency is back into my life.  My thoughts don't revolve around peanut butter cups and double chocolate milk from Starbucks.  I've created more room in my life to feel.

We are creepin on that time of year when everyone will begin setting goals again.  My wish for all of you is that you will add to that list something that has taken away your agency.   Learn how to control and master yourself (even in a small way), and start to FEEL something.

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