WARNING: THIS POST . . .

CONTAINS INCREDIBLY INSPIRATIONAL DANCING
PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

sunshine, beach, yada yada . . .
i'm all about summer's filled with dance.

Most of the time, I just can't believe the dancers on this show. But for real?? who caught that professional ballroom number last results show?

UN STINKIN REAL

I have never seen anything like this. the wind has been knocked out of me. my world has turned upside down. just.  bahhh

                    

                             

HUMANS are so capable of achieving greatness. case in point.

oh and uhhhh, a little nappytabs never hurt anybody, right?



Plus a little more for good measure.




love love love love love love love
                                                                                                                  

2 weddings and a festival . . .

I am currently preparing my schedule to teach about 25 students.  Yikes.  What am I getting myself into?

I have the opportunity to perform  at 2 beautiful weddings this weekend (totaling 5 hours of sing time) + I get paid . . . this is what it's all about peeps.

I was also invited to perform at a festival this August (1 hour set) in Torrey, Utah for the heftiest chunk of change I've received at any given time plus 2 nights accommodation.  My jaw dropped to the floor . . . literally, my mouth is the biggest thing you've ever seen . . . again, this is what it's all about.

Except it's not.  That is definitely NOT what it is all about.  Nothing makes me happier than the random people who add me on facebook and are quoting my lyrics in their status updates, or the friends who send me links to random blogs who post about my music, or the numerous comments I receive via text, email, and fb messages by people who have been influenced by what I create.
THIS is what it's all about. 

It is my dream to make music to inspire, and somehow, it has happened.  
  it just baffles me.   that I have achieved my dream.

And because of all this . . . not the money, I begin making plans for recording my next CD, which I believe has the potential of being even MORE inspiring and MORE beautiful. 

the most humble of thank yous, I send your way . . .  

My Belle pen. . .

Says "there's a princess in every girl"

Also

I saw Santa claus driving a red convertible.

Life. is. So. magical.

took a jaunt . . .

down to my camarillo home again this last week.  i love that place.  paradise.

it is so unbelievable lucky that i've spent 2 of the past 8 weeks there. whaaaaat??

i made new goals, filled my lungs with fresh air, and realized that life is a short crazy ride on which i'd like to be flying through in the front seat, with my eyes wide open, hands held high, and a grin from ear to ear.

life is so incredibly precious.  time is of the essence.  and love is out there, to be had.

SIGH . . .

we spent time riding crazy roller coasters at magic mountain, eating perfect crepes at the farmers market, engulfed in long chats about life, love, their potential ability to exist in harmony, and playing on God's greatest creation of a beach, Leo Carillo. hurray for travels!

i have that sort of . . .

gets caught in a hug's armpit
flings in your face if you sit behind me
pull off a stray, only to realize it's not a stray at all
cast it over the tower and climb up it
'eeerybody knows whose head that hair came from

hair right now.

which is rad because tangled is currently the bees knees (for good reasons. best disney movie since the classics) I am a hero to little girls who can envision my hair growing passed 60 ft. someday. mmm the imagination of a child.

and for the first time, it's THIS long and it isn't driving me bonkers.  probably because of the "Claire cuts" that i get (best hairstylist ever).

and i'm not in a fit of competitive rage right now either! simply just enjoying it!

fun. fun fun fun. having long hair is a lot of fun.

*oh hey! its real life rapunzel!*

Jamie Oliver . . .

and his "Food Revolution"

I love this guy. so so much. for leaving his beautiful country to come help ours be a better place.

He's a hero of mine.

So you know I rarely watch television, but I LOVE watching "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" on hulu.  He is a health rockstar advocating nutritious school lunches.  Essentially, he wants to change America's eating habits by educating kids and teens.  I highly suggest you click the link and watch the first 2 episodes of this season.  You will be shocked at the lack of safety and health provided for our children in schools.  Also, go HERE and sign his petition.  Lets make Utah a "red" state, if you will, and support Jamie's endless efforts.

So far, only 673,833 people have signed this petition (Utah providing a measly 5,700) and I say only because let's be honest, he should be getting a lot more support.

Hooray for good people doing good things and helping us retain our freedom!

For pete's sake, last season, he was in a classroom and the children couldn't identify what a tomato was!!! 

A TOMATO!!

flutters and greetings . . .

i think i've been having heart palpitations for about a week now? what is up with that?

my mom thinks it is  anxiety. she could possibly be correct, seeing as i was nervous i wouldn't make it back to utah, fueling my car on the spare change i had.  

 

but i made it back just in time to be caught in the hailstorm (don't get me started), so i don't know why i am still experiencing weird heart symptoms. 

a postman waved at me a couple of days ago while i was driving down the street.  i thought i was the only happy idiot who found it socially acceptable to smile and acknowledge other people's presence, but it feels good to know i am not alone.  yes, yes, i am one of THOSE people who will say "good (insert time of day here)" to you if I pass you while running.  and if we are in the sugar house loop, i will say it every time i pass you, while you get more and more annoyed. 

i just enjoy acknowledgment of existence.  if i see you, i'm not going to PRETEND i don't.  it is so rude when people do that, especially when i smile and wave, they keep on going as if i were literally not visible.  oh well, i will forgive those cretins.

Mormon. . .

it's a word attached to a bajillion different stigmas.  

one popular stigma being "tricked into believing"

I would like to claim my status as a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly known as Mormon) first and foremost.  I was baptized and confirmed at the age of 8.  No one made me do it, it was what I knew and loved, so I made the decision myself.  That being said, I would like to share a few of my 

own, personal 

experiences as a member of this joyous gospel.   

I was raised in a home full of love, with both parents deeply committed to the LDS church.  Obviously, my childhood and teenage years were flooded with LDS principles and values.  I enjoyed church growing up.  It was fun and I felt warmth, light, a feeling that couldn't come through any other means, which I later recognized as the Spirit.  You know when you get chills that run deep through your bones?  Help you to decipher truth from deception?? That would be the Spirit.  I specifically remember moments when the Spirit spoke truth to my soul and I was in hysterics from feeling so happy. 

I was a teacher's aide my Junior year of high school and the entire class, including the teacher, was out working on a project.  I was sitting in her room all alone grading papers with my headphones in, and a song shuffled its way to the top of my playlist.  I can't remember the song, but I know it was an LDS song.  I stopped dead in my tracks as something took over me, consumed my whole personage, it was joy that couldn't be contained in a mortal body.  My smile has never stretched so wide, my eyes literally poured warmth onto my cheeks, and I knew.  I knew I could never go back, that Heavenly Father had contained my heart and I would let nothing deter that security.

Jump ahead 2 years to my 18 year old self and I am sitting in the peace of the Temple, pondering Christ, wondering how this difficult life will be a challenge I can continue to conquer and find beauty in.  Just as before, the Spirit rushed through me as a confirmation to what I already knew.  But it reached deeper and went further than I'd ever felt it before, what I would consider a taste of exaltation . . . the tiniest little taste.  My love for the Temple and the ability to feel the Spirit 10 fold inside of it grew stronger.

Another 2 years down the road, I'm dancing on that sweet, sweet piece of land I consider my mountain in California.  After 5 years of Madeline's death, when I was listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir belt out "I Believe In Christ", I felt her presence.   It hit me like a ton of bricks, took me completely by surprise.  She was with me crying and sending out joy into the eternities that we Believe In Christ.   The veil became so thin that I felt as though I was dancing with multitudes of Angels by the end of the song.  

Same year, as my 20 year old self.  The fondest of memories . . . when it sank deep in my heart what Christ did for me.  Joy wasn't the feeling, it was bitter sadness, I fell to the ground when my knowledge grew just a small amount to understanding the suffering that Christ went through, atoning for my sins.  I couldn't breathe, knowing that he was strained and tested beyond any mortal physical, emotional, or spiritual capacity.  And ever since, it has become my "solitary vision" to do my part in achieving Celestial Glory, to live up to that potential that was built inside my intelligence from the very beginning, so my Savior's sacrifice for me is not in vain.  So I can rise again as He did, be Resurrected and live with Him.

Easter is dear to me.  I feel the most contemplative during this Holiday.  I can't imagine a better way to spend this specific Easter break, than on God's beautiful beaches, all alone, reading about Christ, and pondering ways to grow closer to Him.

I love my Savior.  I haven't been tricked into believing anything untrue, only encouraged to find the happiness that my earthly parents have found.  Through my own experiences and trials I have come to  know that God lives, Christ lives, and I will live again.  Nothing will ever bring me as much joy. 

ever.

See you in 10 days!!!

despite . . .

my ever looming doubts and purely negative attitude towards the world,  its' weather, and my location

the sun is out to play today.  in all it's 38 degrees of goodness.

Yesterday, i found one bad habit that i formed in california. ONE.  i'm a sun addict.  how do I fix this?  I find me some more sun and whine until I get it!  

not sure how i never knew this song graced the planet, but rest assured, my husband will sing this to me on my wedding day.

Best . . .

it's an incredibly subjective word.

Why do we feel the need to be the best? the winners? out score and out soar everyone else?

thankfully, God doesn't believe in a winner, the "one" who stands out above the crowd.

Being a chaser of unattainable bests leads to a life of unrest.

Here's to sweeping "bests" not only under the rug, but out the door and starting anew.

though i think we can all agree on this best.

Sometimes . . .

I get so busy making sure everyone sees how beautiful they truly are, that I forget others are yelling it to me.

Disclaimer: this song does not swear, contrary to the title. Also, i have a feeling that most people will find the cutting in this video taboo, when in reality . . . it's as damaging as eating disorders or stealing. I read through comments of people who expressed their gratitude for helping them know there is hope.  Atta girl, P!nk

I am coming to learn more and more by the grace of God, that our actions don't add or subtract to our "worth" as His perfect creations.
love yourself.
and if you feel so inclined, fall to your knees in gratitude to the perfect Creator for your body, mind, and spirit, for the Light of Christ that helps us to breathe.

p.s. when p!nk is pleading or pounding her chest, don't you feel like you can relate?? like you've tried so hard to either realize that yourself or help others see the light. i love how real it is. she wants people to believe it. so beautiful.

i'll take this opportunity . . .

to cry.

so i went to an incredible group therapy session last night.  I began to complain about my pounding headache and the medicine man gave me a pillow to scream into ("a miracle" he said, "what screaming can do for a headache").  All eyes were on the three of us women inflicted with throbbing heads and after an uncomfortable laugh, I decided to oblige and join the other two.  Like the flip of a switch, after what seemed like an eternity of blood curdling scream, my emotions transferred and i shook like a baby in sobs. 

I felt so sad. so much sorrow. i was shocked by my grief.

I heard a communal pout for my sadness as if a puppy had died (maybe because i was the baby of the group), collected my emotions and even cough/choked on my water immediately after.

"that was textbook how your fierce scream turned into a sad bawl.  I know you think the cough had to do with the water, but there's more to it than that." the medicine man left me with so much to think about, so much mystery.

and this morning, i awoke . . . as if the world were new. 

thank you medicine man and thank YOU Christ, for the Atonement.  That all encompassing, all powerful miracle.

scream, i dare you.

i still say hands down. . .

this is one of the best if not BEST dance videos on youtube. don't even argue



I've searched elisa dances for hours. this takes the cake

When we

". . . lack confidence in our own abilities as God’s children, or God’s abilities as our Master, full potentials are left in the stars, completely unreachable."  

             -Jules Morrow

weird that i'm quoting myself, right? but i came across that obvious piece of revelation in my journal and had the urge to share.

i - i - i - i - i - i came to . . .

dance.

I'm one of those wedding party attenders who believes that the reception was not invented for congratulations, or fancy, delicious food.  it was made for dancing.  and boy do i love me some good dance parties.

 *i make a jolly good dancer, no?*

mission: find new "mountain" like spot now in full swing, heaven help me before i bust out in the midst of the park crowd while jogging to Taio Cruz.